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Dear Roy Oswalt, Please Pick A Team

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Dear Roy Oswalt,


We're not far from pitchers and catchers reporting to either Arizona or Florida for Spring Training. We're just a week away from horrible jewelry commercials finally exiting the air until Mother's Day. You still haven't signed a contract, and it's getting to be annoying hearing rumors every day surrounding where you'll end up.


Despite putting yourself into a corner saying you'd only like to pitch for either the Cardinals or Rangers, the Reds apparently had interest in you. But that's not the case, that might just be your agent talking, as Walt Jocketty shot down the idea of the Reds signing you.


Both St. Louis and Texas have rotations that are full. If you want to play for either team, you'll likely have to pitch out of the bullpen at times, and hey, that might save your arm and have you fresh for October baseball. You have been injury plagued lately, after all, and making only 25-28 starts might serve you well.


Either way, I'm getting sick of hearing the rumors surrounding you. You want to pitch for a contender, but you don't want to pitch far away from home. Please just pick either the Cardinals or Rangers, sign a contract, and let's move on.


Photographs by jamesbrandon, jdtornow, phlezk, flygraphix, mcdlttx, tomasland, and literalbarrage used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.