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Rob Ryan Is Jabba The Hutt

If it wasn't obvious from the 20+ reaction shots of the Dallas Cowboys bulbous defensive coordinator during every game, the amusing profile from the Dallas Morning News made it clear:

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Ryan departs the team's Valley Ranch facility around midnight or 1 a.m. But he doesn't go straight to his home in Southlake. He stops by Whataburger or Burger King to pick up the biggest burgers they have.

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Two of them.

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Sometimes he'll skip the burger and go for a pizza.

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"I can eat an entire pizza, easy," says Ryan, whose van is littered with pizza boxes the day he arrives at Valley Ranch after the drive from Cleveland. "Not in an eating contest. I can just do it.

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The most amusing part, to me at least, is Ryan's contention that diets don't work. There's no diet in the world that's going to allow you to consistently stuff yourself with fast food at 2AM.

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That's like trying to live on a budget while burning duffel bags stuffed with money inside of them. Kind of defeats the whole purpose.

Photographs by jamesbrandon, jdtornow, phlezk, flygraphix, mcdlttx, tomasland, and literalbarrage used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.