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NFL Week 14 Picks

The Cowboys/Giants game may highlight Week 14, but the staff at SB Nation Dallas picks each and every game.

MIAMI GARDENS, FL - DECEMBER 04:  A Miami Dolphins cheerleader cheers during a game against the Oakland Raiders at Sun Life Stadium on December 4, 2011 in Miami Gardens, Florida.  (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)
MIAMI GARDENS, FL - DECEMBER 04: A Miami Dolphins cheerleader cheers during a game against the Oakland Raiders at Sun Life Stadium on December 4, 2011 in Miami Gardens, Florida. (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)
Getty Images

Amazingly, there are just four weeks left in the regular season. Needless to say, the Cowboys are involved in Week 14's biggest matchup, as they play host to the New York Giants with first place in the NFC East on the line. There are plenty of other interesting games in Week 14, and as always, the staff at SB Nation Dallas picks the winner of each game.

Browns (4-8) at Steelers (9-3) - Once again, we're not cheating. This was a pretty lame game on paper, and it lived up to the non-hype. 

  • K.D. Drummond: Steelers - Ben Rthlglafajksfjmmmberger is having a season almost as good as Tony Romo
  • Charley Code: Steelers - I wonder what kind of music Big Ben puts on when he brings an innocent young girl up to his room?
  • Christopher Fittz: Steelers - So, get this, Ben will get hurt in the first half and then courageously come back in the second half of a Steelers win. Book it.
  • JP Starkey: Steelers - Even though I hate them.

Texans (9-3) at Bengals (7-5) - Who knew that this game would be interesting back in August? Or that Andy Dalton would not only starting for the Bengals, but starting and playing well? And that T.J. Yates would be starting for the playoff bound Texans, who are battling for homefield? 

  • Drummond: Texans - How they are doing this without 3 of their 4 best players is beyond me.
  • Code: Texans - I'm wearing it right now.
  • Fittz: Bengals - This is pretty much a surprising Bengals team versus half of the Houston Texans.
  • Starkey: Bengals - I almost feel bad for the Texans, but I don't.

Vikings (2-10) at Lions (7-5) - Detroit's implosion is nearly complete, but they've got a pretty good opportunity to turn things around this week against a pretty hapless Minnesota Vikings team... who made Tim Tebow look like an all-world passer. 

  • Drummond: Lions - Minny's secondary made Tim Tebow look like a quarterback. Imagine what Stafford can do.
  • Code: Lions - I want both teams to lose.
  • Fittz: Lions - I think the Lions are finding out that it's hard to sustain success throughout an entire season. They'll still win this game, however.
  • Starkey: Lions - Megatron. That's all I got.

Saints (9-3) at Titans (7-5) - Another game that a 7-5 team desperately needs to win. This time, though, the odds aren't in the 7-5 team's favor, as the Titans have to deal with one of the most explosive offenses in the NFL this weekend. New Orleans has carved up New York and Detroit in consecutive weeks, and it sure looks like Tennessee is next.

  • Drummond: Titans - The Saints are a juggernaut inside, but average on the road. Titans in the upset.
  • Code: Saints - Saints/Packers Super Bowl?
  • Fittz: Saints - I can't even really figure out how the Titans keep winning.
  • Starkey: Saints - I do love Matt Hasselbeck, but not this week.

Eagles (4-8) at Dolphins (4-8) - How great is it that the dream team is 4-8, with exactly the same record as the Dolphins? The Matt Moore quarterbacked Dolphins, no less. This game is all about draft position, and delicious Eagle suckage. 

  • Drummond: Dolphins - I hate the Eagles.
  • Code: Dolphins - I'm glad the Eagles suck.
  • Fittz: Dolphins - The Dolphins are playing well and I just kind of want it rubbed in the Eagles faces some more.
  • Starkey: Dolphins - One team playing really hard and the other team is mailing it in.

Chiefs (5-7) at Jets (7-5) - You could argue that the Chiefs are still in the playoff race, but you'd be wrong. They think they are, at least, so they'll probably try really hard against the Jets, who, will win, and then have Rex Ryan believing they're a Super Bowl team again.

  • Drummond: Jets - Kyle Orton's KC career lasted just one pass. SMH@Palko
  • Code: Jets - Is there any other team more annoying than Mark Sanchez and his pregnant toe jam eating coach?
  • Fittz: Jets - Is it possible this is the game where the Jets turn it around to make it all the way back to lose the AFC Championship game?
  • Starkey: Jets - Rex Ryan and the Jets continue to boycott Mike Francesa's show.

Patriots (9-3) at Redskins (4-8) - New England's quest for homefield advantage goes marching on to Landover this weekend, as they take on Rex Grossman and the awesome Redskins offense. As with any of New England's last seven games or so this year, this one could get out of hand.

  • Drummond: Patriots - Roy Helu will go for 200 and Washington will lose by 20
  • Code: Patriots - Tom Brady.
  • Fittz: Patriots - It seems like the Patriots have played more teams from the NFC East than the Cowboys have.
  • Starkey: Patriots - Mike Shanahan used to gameplan well against New England. Tom Brady has not won at FedEx Field. Expect both things to change.

Falcons (7-5) at Panthers (4-8) - Surprisingly, this game is closer than people think it will be. Atlanta isn't as good as they're made out to be and Carolina is probably better than they're made out to be. The Falcons, though, need to keep winning to remain front and center in the NFC playoff picture.

  • Drummond: Panthers - #KillaCam
  • Code: Falcons - Poop.
  • Fittz: Falcons - I'd be okay with Cam Newton being good for one game.
  • Starkey: Panthers - I just don't buy into Atlanta.

Buccaneers (4-8) at Jaguars (3-9) - I'm surprised ESPN didn't take this game as one of their MNF games this year since it sucks so bad. 

  • Drummond: Jaguars - It'll be a big weekend for Kahn's (does anyone still watch boxing other than me?)
  • Code: Jaguars - I'd rather watch chimps throw poop at each other.
  • Fittz: Bucs - The battle for Florida that even Florida doesn't care about.
  • Starkey: Bucs - Blaine Gabbert will be the biggest bust of the 2011 draft.

Colts (0-12) at Ravens (9-3) - I would almost set the over/under on yardage for Indianapolis this weekend at .5 -- and I'd consider taking the under. 

  • Drummond: Ravens - If the Colts trade Peyton Manning, they deserve everything they get.
  • Code: Ravens - Harbaugh.
  • Fittz: Ravens - How awesome would it be if a team went undefeated and another went winless in the same season?
  • Starkey: Ravens - Hey, at least the Colts covered last week. That should be as close to winning as they get all year.

Bears (7-5) at Broncos (7-5) - I feel like most of America would be very uncomfortable if Tim Tebow and the Broncos made the playoffs. Caleb Hanie and Brian Urlacher will look to do their best to prevent that from happening, but Hanie against Denver's defense? Yikes. Expect a lot of field goals in this game.

  • Drummond: Broncos - I can't believe Tebow gets to be the best QB in the game again.
  • Code: Bears - This week Tebow prays to Urlacher. Urlacher wins.
  • Fittz: Bears - Do it for America, Chicago!
  • Starkey: Broncos - Tebow calls the defensive plays, inspires Champ Bailey to intercept Hanie in the fourth quarter, and then goes Tebowing on the field while taking quarterback knees in a thrilling 13-9 win.

49ers (10-2) at Cardinals (5-7) - Must be nice to play in the NFC West. San Francisco will certainly get a bye this year, and they're certainly not one of the four best teams in the entire NFL.

  • Drummond: Cardinals - Overrated vs Underrated in a division battle? Bird Flu.
  • Code: 49ers - Harbaugh.
  • Fittz: 49ers - Hey, if the Cowboys can beat the Niners and the Cardinals can beat the Cowboys, right? Nah.
  • Starkey: 49ers - Maybe if Kevin Kolb were good, I'd take Arizona.

Raiders (7-5) at Packers (12-0) - Will it happen this week? Probably not. Oakland, though, can't afford to keep losing -- especially if Denver wins. At least Oakland will try really, really, really hard.

  • Drummond: Packers - If DMC was playing we'd have an upset... but not no mo'.
  • Code: Packers - Aaron Rogers and CJ Wilson should get together and be humble. Together.
  • Fittz: Packers - I guess thinking the Raiders would make the playoffs was fun while it lasted.
  • Starkey: Raiders - Oakland plays out of their minds, squeak out a win, and then proceed to lay an egg the rest of the season after expending all their energy on this game.

Bills (5-7) at Chargers (5-7) - Chan Gailey is no longer the coach of the year, I guess that was fun while it lasted. Norv Turner will no longer be a coach in the NFL in a month, I guess that was fun while it lasted too.

  • Drummond: Chargers - How do the Chargers get the world's easiest December schedule every year?
  • Code: Bills - I just hope the Chargers continue their suckage. Rivers has to be the biggest sally in the league.
  • Fittz: Chargers - Will the Chargers go on a run and save us from Tebow?
  • Starkey: Bills - Just because Philip Rivers losing is so good.

Giants (6-6) at Cowboys (7-5) - Ah yes, the main event for those in the Dallas Fort-Worth area. And the New York area too, but whatever. This game will obviously go a long way to deciding the NFC East champion, as the Cowboys can go up two full games with just three weeks to play with a win...while a loss puts the Giants in first place.

  • Drummond: Cowboys - C'mon son.
  • Code: Giants - The Cowboys are stuck in mediocrity.
  • Fittz: Cowboys - I'm only picking the Cowboys because I like them.
  • Starkey: Cowboys - If this game were in New Jersey, I'd take the Giants. 

Rams (2-10) at Seahawks (5-7) - Monday Night Football rules so hard, you guys.

  • Drummond: Seahawks - The Rams players are showing their unwavering support of head coach Spags... by sucking.
  • Code: Seahawks - I can't wait for this one. All day at work, I'll be thinking about the Monday night party i have in store for myself.
  • Fittz: Seahawks - Did ESPN just ask the league for the worst games each week?
  • Starkey: Seahawks - I hope Marshwan Lynch is held to negative yards just so I never have to hear about beast mode ever again in any sport.

Photographs by jamesbrandon, jdtornow, phlezk, flygraphix, mcdlttx, tomasland, and literalbarrage used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.