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Top Five: Headlines Less Likely Than ‘Molina Hits For Cycle’

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Here are five headlines even less likely than the one we saw after Bengie Molina's cycle/grand slam performance.

We saw something Friday less likely than anything I think I've ever seen in my years watching sports. Bengie Molina, a man with five triples in 1,315 career games and just four in his last 10 seasons, not only tripled -- standing up -- in over 13 seconds, but doubled -- also standing up -- and singled in the same game. Oh, and he hit a grand slam. We aren't going to see a less likely performance in our lifetimes, but here are the few headlines that actually could top Molina's, along with introductory paragraphs for their accompanying stories.

No. 5: 'Wade Phillips Stirs Troops With Scintillating Pre-Game Speech'  

The Cowboys jumped out to a four-touchdown lead in the first quarter Sunday and cruised to a 38-7 win over the Detroit Lions. Tight end Martellus Bennett described the mood in the locker room before the game as "electric."

"Coach went for like 10 minutes, and things just kept getting louder and louder," Bennett recalled. "I've never been so fired up. At the end he was just yelling 'Let's gets going!' and pounding his fist on the table louder and louder."

No. 4: 'Brenden Morrow To Be Best Man In Sean Avery's Wedding'  

Sean Avery will wed prolific stripper Candy Apples on Sunday in Las Vegas. The two have dated for six months, but Avery "just knew it was love" right from the beginning. The couple has chosen the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel for their ceremony. Former teammate Brenden Morrow will serve as the best man.

"I'm so happy for him," Morrow said. "Sean's just delighted. I mean I've never seen him like this."...

No. 3: 'Tony Romo Spends Offseason Throwing Ball Through Tire'  

After reaching the pinnacle of his career by winning his first Super Bowl, Cowboys quarter back Tony Romo has decided to spend his free time this offseason back in Wisconsin throwing a football through a tire hanging from the oak tree in the back yard of his parents' old house.

"I qualified for the U.S. Open this year, yes, but I just want to focus on perfecting my spiral. The hot blondes and golf tournaments can wait for another summer."...

No. 2 - 'Dallas-Fort Worth Area Celebrates Tom Hicks Day'  

The excitement is palpable this morning as the Dallas parade route is marked off for today's Tom Hicks Day celebration. The once embattled owner of the Rangers and Stars managed to turn his finances around late in 2010 just in time to hang on to the franchises and set out on a historic run of championships rarely seen in American sport. Hicks' success is largely attributed to his brilliant management skill and responsible stewardship.

No. 1 - 'J.J. Barea Wins Defensive Player Of The Year Award'  

Mavericks guard J.J. Barea won his first defensive player of the year award Tuesday after leading the Mavericks to a hard-fought 73-58 win in Game 5 of the NBA Finals. The Mavericks made their way to the title on the back of their stingy defense, allowing just 67.4 points per game in 17 playoff games.

Miami's Chris Paul was impressed: "When I took the midlevel exception to join LeBron, Dwyane and Chris, I never in my wildest dreams expected that little guy to be what kept us from our first championship. He seemed to anticipate my every move, and when Dwyane got hot, he went over and shut him down."   

The disappointing loss comes a season after Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert made good on his angry promise to win a championship before LeBron James...

Photographs by jamesbrandon, jdtornow, phlezk, flygraphix, mcdlttx, tomasland, and literalbarrage used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.